I like group fitness classes, yoga, dance, etc so don’t mind paying something to have that space to do it; but yeah I stopped going to any that were too far away to walk in, say, half an hour. Driving to gym to work out freaked me out too, it feels crazy - a gym should be on your path home from work or really close to work or home, otherwise you are less likely to use it. But I say this as the privileged spouse of a man so rich in free weights that I can always lift heavy at home - if we didn’t have those I might be willing to drive and pay to use the equipment.

I think a lot of things are scammy, most investments and crypto are pyramid schemes, the US private healthcare system and I’m not sure Medicare fraud isn’t what the public system was built for.

I played this in my house when it came out because I liked Skinty Fia; my kid immediately said “play that again please, the whole album”. I love it!

I like cooking, I like gardening. Husband likes washing the cars. Sure I like convenience - live about a mile from work so can easily get there without a car, have a Roomba, hire for biweekly cleaning so we can have weekends. But some sorts of activities you think of as inconveniences may be stuff other people enjoy doing.

Is your planning theoretical at this point? Your responses sound like you haven’t actually implemented these plans.

The chaos is my favorite part, the people. I am hosting so make the turkey plus a bunch of vegan sides because one kid is vegan and otherwise she gets not much. So for her a stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, roasted sweet potatoes with chili paste, green beans & mushrooms, “creamed” greens in coconut milk, confit of parsnips.

Now would I rather be putting butter in most of those,and eggs in the stuffing, and sausage? Fuck yes. But I’m her best chance at getting something that is delicious not just vegan, so I do only vegan sides. We have two grandmas attending and one insists on bringing a whole Thanksgiving no matter what I ask so there is all the regular stuff. Like sometimes she literally brings another turkey with her, it’s ridiculous. I only want her to bring pies, I cannot pie.

Go to bed early because it’s dark.

Worry about all the food in the refrigerator.

Be hot (or I guess in your case, cold.)

Read books in the daytime, go for walks.

Cook stuff using the grill, drink cold brew.

Take dreadful cold showers.

Count how many socks and underwear are left, do I need to resort to hand washing some?

My kids love these meals and I’m not sure why. I usually say “watch me pull a rabbit out of this hat!” and throw something together. Unless it’s a stir fry, they don’t like that. But a leftover baked potato becoming home fries with eggs and the half a tomato and half an onion from the fridge? The leftover cabbage going into the last handful of lentils for a stew? Casserole of leftover pasta, odds and ends with cheese, topped with bread crumbs? They are so happy with these oddball meals for some reason, and I think if you can make something with whatever you have, that IS a valuable cooking skill.

You are talking to us here, now. I know you do rock climbing and weight lifting. If you have friends, you talk to them too. It’s not different from that. You are doing it already. There’s not a formula.

What friends can do is tell their friends you are a great guy and introduce you to other people. That’s what networking is, the same way you network computers, you network human relationships, by connecting them.

I mean, you can’t just get fit and expect someone to come knocking on your door. If you are feeling good about your looks now, that’s an accomplishment you can be happy about, and should, but it doesn’t send out some secret signal that you are ready for a relationship. You have to talk to actual people. You can meet them out in the world or on an app, you can also tell any friends you have that you are looking to start dating, network. I think friends of friends and dating apps are the most usual ways of getting dates now. When I was young we just hung out in groups and some people always people ended up paired off, didn’t really date per se, but my kids don’t seem to do that as much.

So basically - now you are happy about your physical shape, you still have to reach out to people, that is the next step.