Not selling me anything,

EAT MORE RADISHES

Gotta lower the power setting and increase the cook time. One minute at 100%? No! One and a half minutes at 80%!

Harrumph

Ia, Shub Niggurath!

The cassowary was the only thing in the zoo that Steve Irwin seemed a little bit scared of. There’s an episode where the cassowary got loose and he immediately stopped joking around and told all the keepers to go get the shields to corral it back into its pen. I wouldn’t dream of fucking around with a cassowary.

Fuck that, I’ve been in close proximity to ostriches and emus and they one hundred percent seem like dinosaurs.

Cor blimey

You can’t bring the time travel souvenir back with you in the time machine. You’ve got to store it in a safe cave or storage unit or something so that it’ll be at least plausibly aged by the time it reaches the future, even if surprisingly well-preserved.

I went through a handful of devices, and none of them ticked off all the boxes for me.

Now I use a Unihertz Jelly Star. It’s tiny, it has Bluetooth, Wifi, expandable memory, headphone jack, and in a pinch it’s also a phone with a camera and flashlight and so forth. The battery charges very fast, and it’s got a halfway decent external speaker. More dedicated audiophiles than me would have to weigh in on if it’s pumping out audio signal in all the right bass and treble frequencies at appropriate levels, but it does everything I wanted from a digital audio player.

Kira: Captain Boday? You want me to bring Captain Boday to your quarters for dinner?

Dax: It’s just a suggestion.

Kira: Well, it’s a bad suggestion! Number one, you used to go out with Captain Boday, number two, Worf hates him, and number three, and we’ve discussed this many times, Captain Boday has a transparent skull.

Dax: And you don’t like to see a man’s brains?

The show is awesome, but it’s about 30% Twilight Zone, 20% Ghost in the Shell, and 50% incomprehensibly kinky fetish so esoteric that the censors didn’t know that it ought to have been censored for TV release.