Some people are like that, unfortunately. It’s never their fault, never their turn to grow and change. Most people expect their parents to be ultimate protectors and the ones to encourage their children’s flourishing, but many are often unwilling or unable to change as their children change.

Sounds like you’ve tried setting boundaries, and she just ignores them. The best thing to do might be going limited- or no-contact to protect yourself. Sucks that that’s the case, but part of having healthy relationships is meeting somebody halfway, and if she can’t do that, then you should feel justified changing the nature of that relationship.